How I Lost my Voice

What I Lost

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“It started with a cough almost 2 years ago. I remember the date, because it was my 27th birthday..”

Pause. First, I’d like to make clear my two (2) reasons for writing this blog.

1. I am writing this for myself – to record my thoughts, treatments, what worked, what didn’t. Documentation is key.
2. I doubt if someone else will find this site but if you did and you have a vocal disorder of ANY kind, I hope you will find this blog both helpful and therapeutic.

Just Prior to the Onset of the Problem

Going back to my story, two years ago I celebrated my birthday in Baguio City, one of the coldest places in our country, the Philippines. I decided that I deserved a week-long break from 6 months of past-paced, stress-filled work. I was with an executive search firm and we just experienced change in management, lots of resignations plus new clients.

The Problem Begins

During August 2009 in that week-long vacation, I came down with the flu. It was bad, I was miserable the whole duration of the break. If it were not for my family and boyfriend being there, it would have been a horrendous experience. Well, looking back, I think I can say it is. Because it was the beginning of a little known disability – voice loss.

My 27th Bday - with my family and bf.
That's me standing beside my dad.

I went back to work feeling better. But my voice was hoarse, which is normal for someone with colds and cough. Then 2 weeks went by and the colds and cough remained. By that time it was already September. I went to the doctor who prescribed antibiotics for the cough. In a couple of days, the cough was gone. But my voice still did not return to normal. I thought it will eventually go back by itself. But it felt weird when I was speaking. It didn’t sound hoarse anymore or nasal (like during colds). It was more whispery. I still had voice, though. I just needed to force it out a bit more.

The Problem Didn’t Go Away

Life went on – Work. Stress. Church activities. Family. Daily workout. Friends.

By October, my friend and I decided to put up a small water station business. And so we went to work. I had to focus on it after my 9am to 6pm hours. During this time I was staying at the office until 8pm, sometimes 9pm.

Finding out What’s Wrong

By November, my voice was very weak and whispery. I went to the top hospitals and recommended specialists (ENT and gastroenterologists):

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1. Dr. Emmanuel Ibay of Makati Medical Center – diagnosed me with sulcus vocalis after doing Fiber optic Laryngoscopy, a procedure which involved putting a tube down my nose to see how the vocal cords function. This is a very good procedure to do to check how the vocal cords work. They ask you to produce sounds while the tube is inside.
2. Dr. Melchor Chan of University of Santo Tomas (UST) Hospital – who performed Endoscopy, which is swallowing a tube the size of an I.V. or dextrose tube. At the end it has a camera. The doc will be able to see if your esophageal sphincter, the opening of the stomach, opens and closes correctly. To check the possibility of acid reflux affecting the voice box. He said my sphincter was working well, for someone who had childhood achalasia.
3. Dr. Adonis Jurado of Children’s Medical Hospital/ Philippine Heart Center – He endorsed me to have Esophagram or Barium Test, which is swallowing a very thick paste-like substance. Then the radiologist will make a series of xrays on the substance’s movement. Test did not show any reflux of the substance.
4. Dra. Clarissa Fortuna of Medical City – performed Laryngoscopy again and said I have no vocal cord problems. (Later on, I discovered that some vocal disorders can sound normal at times, and dysfunctional at other times. At the time I was having my laryngoscopy with Dra. Fortuna, my vocal cords felt normal.)
5. Dra. Feliciano of St. Luke’s Hospital – diagnosed me with Spasmodic Dysphonia ABductor Type by listening to my voice and looking at my laryngoscopy DVD.
6. Dr. William Lim of Holy Infant – the doctor of Kris Aquino (or so I was told. Kris Aquino is a well-known TV host in the country). He diagnosed me with AB/SD (ABductor Spasmodic Dysphonia after performing another Laryngoscopy.
7. Speech Pathologist Connie Pike based in Florida, USA – reviewed my case and said she believes I have AB/SD.
8. A Neurologist (forgot her name) in Saint Louis University Hospital in Baguio City – endorsed me to have Magnetic Resonance Imaging MRI in Cardinal Santos Medical. She wanted to rule out any brain damage. Results turned out negative, but showed that I had acid reflux in the form of gas.

There were other doctors I had consulted but the above were the more prominent and significant. It was Dra. Feliciano who was the 1st to say it was Spasmodic Dysphonia. And she did it just by listening to me talk. Afterwards, she checked my video to confirm. But her initial diagnosis remained. She steered me in the right course, and I will always be grateful. Incidentally, I forgot her first name!!

I went through a lot to find out what was wrong with me. With the number of times I had tubes being inserted in my nose and mouth, I wish I could say that I have gotten used to them. But every time, it is as uncomfortable as the first one.

I already got weary writing these down. I didn't realize how many I've gone to. Hospitals and doctors. I haven’t even mentioned any of the prescription medicines I’ve been given! This is why I did not write about my vocal disorder in the past. But a respected mentor told me simply “blog about it.” WHAT??! But to be fair, he has no idea about how much this issue is a struggle for me. And how I HATE to write about frustrations. (I record triumphs, not hardships). But then again, I should thank him for suggesting it. I have to admit it IS therapeutic.